The auction has ended! Congratulations to @Gasper Crepinsek for taking home my very own "Upwork Retirement Proposal" for the very nice sum of 35,000 pennies! JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, HERE'S WHAT WENT DOWN... Get the exact Upwork proposal template I used to land $159,000 in low-stress retainers while I work 15-hour weeks and travel the world. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ I don't freelance on Upwork anymore. Not because it stopped working. Because ONE proposal template worked so well it retired me. 👉 $159,000 in contracts. 👉 Clients who hired me over 50+ other applicants. 👉 Clients who APOLOGIZED for wasting my time when they couldn't afford me. 👉 $12k retainers from people who'd never met me. Now, I hire people to push the buttons while I look at graphs and tell jokes on Zoom calls. In May, when we go to Japan for 2.5 weeks, other people will keep my machine running while I eat raw fish next to Mt. Fuji. All from Upwork clients. The place everyone says has zero high-paying clients. 🙄 Here’s what we’re gonna do. Grab a walker. Amble on over to the cafeteria and snag a cup of prune juice. Then meet me in the day room and let’s reminisce about the good ol’ days when Upwork was still Elance… 🎉🎉 Welcome to the Upwork Retirement Auction! 🎉🎉 Winner gets the Upwork proposal template that retired me from Upwork—plus, I’ll show you how to “reverse engineer” it for any job your heart desires. Bids start at one cent. Bids can only go UP by one cent. AND... EVERYONE who bids at least one penny in the auction gets a free bonus: The Profile Rescue Kit, which'll fix everything wrong with your profile (that clients actually care about) so you can stop obsessing over which angle to take your next headshot pic. 🤯 But wait, there's more...lol. 🤯 IF... If we get a ton of action on the auction, we'll unlock truckloads of additional hot bonuses for you to stuff in your pockets. One more thing: You're getting the exact proposal structure that pulled six figures out of a platform I no longer compete on.

Wanna get the best gosh dang testimonials ever? I'm posting nothing but truth today on April Fools. Why make a holiday out of lies and trickery? Relax, Loki. Here's a deep cut for you--my favorite testimonial ever, back from my Upwork days. "Nick Bandy is an email marketing GOD." I could listen to this on loop, 24/7. I'm sure it didn't hurt with landing that $12,000 retainer, either.

I'm being UN-PERSONED! Elon and Zuck have joined forces to delete my existence. Yesterday I tried to launch a low-budget ad campaign on X promoting this penny auction thing, and my ad account got shut down. I believe they consider auctions "gambling." 😅 Currently appealing, but that didn't go so great with Facebook. Anyway, as it currently stands: The auction will NOT be happening unless we get at least 4 more people interested by the end of Friday. I'm perfectly happy keeping this $147k proposal to myself and selling it for a lot more than a penny. If you want the auction to happen, please climb on top of your roof, cup your hands together, and herald tomorrow's deadline around your neighborhood. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I don't freelance on Upwork anymore. Not because it stopped working. Because ONE proposal template worked so well it retired me. $147,000 in contracts (well, actually $159,000 now). From one basic structure that paid off over and over...so I rode that horse off into the sunset. Clients who hired me over 50+ other applicants. $12k retainers from people who'd never met me. Now, I hire people to push the buttons while I look at graphs and tell jokes on Zoom calls. In May, when we go to Japan for 2.5 weeks, other people will keep my machine running while I eat raw fish and nod at reports. This Friday, I'm sending over a proposal for another $5k to $15k retainer (depends) from an existing client--again, from Upwork--for 5 to 10 hours a week of extra work. All money from Upwork clients. Now... I've thought about how to sell this thing. I could bundle it into a course. Do a whole launch. But honestly? That sounds exhausting. And I realized most people don't WANT another course. So here's my dumb idea instead: A penny auction. Bids start at one cent. Bids can only go UP by one cent. If it sells for 31 cents, so be it. That's on all of you. Here's the thing though... I'm not doing this for just a handful of people. If I get enough PENNY comments below, we run it. If not, I'll find something else to do with my Tuesday. I'd rather go play on a plastic slide with my daughter than sit here like a sad sack waiting for comments to roll in. One more thing: The person who wins this isn't getting some dusty template from 2012. You're getting the exact proposal structure that pulled six figures out of a platform I no longer compete on. Which means ZERO competition from me using it. You're welcome. So here's what to do: You'd bid a penny? Drop PENNY below 👇 You think this is stupid? Drop BAN ME below 👇 Either way I wanna hear from you. Your acquaintance, Nick P.S. Is a penny auction stupid? We'll find out together.

One of the toughest things about making courses is deciding which format to put them in. Some people hate videos. Some people hate reading. Some people like both, and want a transcript of the video... So in a not-so-sneaky way to conduct marker research... How do YOU prefer to learn stuff?