14d • General discussion
Experiment time!
So.. after a rough night and early morning, I'm deciding to try an experiment.
So basically, from 9 am to 5 pm today, I'm going to spend 10 minutes every hour in my kitchen.
I am going to stop for an hour for lunch.
Here's the hard part that I think people without adhd won't understand and that's ok:
I'm actually going to FORCE myself to STOP after each 10 minute timer goes off. Yes this is unnatural. YES, this is inefficient. But, this is the deal I have to make with myself.
And in between the hourly 10 minute sessions, I can do whatever I want, meaning I can sit and just get lost...
The rule is that the ONLY room I'm "working on" today is the kitchen.
Why am I doing this?? Because I am already in a severe burnout. I just AM. I'm also dealing with health issues.
But my BRAIN will not let me just "rest all day" right now. It just won't.
So this is like a compromise. My body NEEDS to sit down a lot right now. But my brain and nervous system NEED to feel like I'm making SOME sort of progress.
I am dealing with some very dark thoughts. So I NEED to feel like I'm taking charge of my place.
It is so hard to explain but anyway I'm basically going to hyperfocus on my kitchen today but in short timed bursts.
The metric for success is NOT: is the kitchen "done?" The metric for success is merely: did i spend 10 minutes on the kitchen every hour from 9 am to 5 pm, minus an hour for lunch? And also, did I go to my car (today will be day 51 of the streak!) And did i bring a grocery bag of trash to the dumpster on the way to my car?
THEN, after I figure out dinner, I'm going to reward myself tonight with a movie I've been wanting to see and it turns out it is on and it is free!!
And if you're reading this and thinking jeez you're making it harder... exactly. Thst is why I will never understand why people call us "lazy" We are the OPPOSITE of lazy. We work SO HARD just to even possibly function.
So yes I've had to obsess a bjt on how I can possibly get my brain and body on board for this today. But the fact is I DID go to bed early last night. And I was wide awake at 10:30 pm.. 🥴
So the true goal of today is showing my nervous system (and the only way to do it is to SHOW it) that we are actually ok.. that things aren't as bad as we see them to be (literally speaking).
And to also deeply familiarize myself with WHAT is even in the kitchen??
Hope this makes sense and possibly helps someone else!!
They also say you can do anything you put yorh mind to. I would personally change that to, you can do anything that you get your nervous system on board for
Because my MIND has gotten my BODY in trouble many times 😅
Ok! Time to prep for this day! Love you guys! Let me know if I can help with anything!
I know it helps me personally to hear that you can do things in a way that WORK for YOU. 🤩😍
And it is TRUE. Little tweaks can truly take something that feels impossible to being possible!
I will report back on how this experiment went. But regardless at least I'm still trying!
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Experiment time!
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